fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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