Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
