im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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