i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize