he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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