hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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