im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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