Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
why do cheetos always look like penises
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
