Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
