david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
