i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
