Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
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the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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