Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
