Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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