I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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