Pappa wants mamma naked
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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