she kept yelling 'call me bella'
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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