Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
