The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
