Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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