WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
