the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
