I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
