so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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