All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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