I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
