I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
