He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
