Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
