When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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