I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
