I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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