so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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