Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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