You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
