I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
