Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
