everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
