I'm drive I can fine osifer
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize