sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
