Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
