It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So much rum. So many feels.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
