i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
