are you still at the devil's house?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
