Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize