you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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