He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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