well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
