this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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