3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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