i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
