Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize