margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
