Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
