You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
