"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
