i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
