so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
