If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
