2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
