ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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