I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
