I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
