I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
