I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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