i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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