She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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