Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
