I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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