but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
