oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
